As a sex therapist, I often meet with couples who have differing opinions on birth control – an issue that can turn into a serious problem for partners who are not on the same page. One topic that comes up frequently relates to the use of condoms versus going on the pill.
For instance, I recently worked with a couple we will call “Tony” and “Kim.” Tony and Kim have been dating for several months, and they are starting to get serious about their relationship. Since they have decided to be exclusive, Tony wants Kim to go on the pill, because to him, sex feels much better without a condom.
On the other hand, Kim is reluctant to start using hormonal birth control, because she is worried about the side effects. The two have argued about this quite a bit; Tony feels that Kim is being inconsiderate of his needs, while Kim resents feeling pressured to do something she’s not sure will be good for her.
In this case, I explained to Tony that the decision to go on hormonal birth control is an important medical issue that women need to make in consultation with their doctors. Birth control pills can cause a wide range of changes in a woman’s body. They can cause mood swings; they can cause changes in libido; weight gain; and other shifts in her body chemistry, some of which are not very pleasant.
Aside from these considerations, not all STIs are detectable in the body; some can remain dormant for years, but even though there are no symptoms present, they can still be passed on to a partner. And for some women, use of the pill also brings up serious moral or religious concerns.
Because of all of this, while it is understandable to be concerned about penis sensation and the effects of condoms on sexual pleasure, men need to be respectful of a woman’s decision in this respect. For couples like Tony and Kim, it is important to talk openly about the issue, but ultimately, the decision will need to be hers.
After talking it over, Tony felt badly that he had been overly concerned with his own level of pleasure without thinking of the more serious consequence; and Kim agreed to talk to her OB/GYN about the various options for hormonal birth control.
In the meantime, Tony did some research and found out that a nutrient-rich penis health cream (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) may help to promote sensitivity by supporting healthy blood flow to the penis, as well as softening and smoothing the penile skin – a benefit that both Tony and Kim can enjoy.
